" I had a dream I was spun in the mix "

Can't sleep. I'm chained to the computer, searching for some new blogs to follow and I have a feeling like something good is about to happen. Maybe tomorrow, the next day after that, who knows?
Maybe in 3 hours! I feel like I travelled a long distance and I've finally reached my final destination. I feel like I've overcome obstacles, fears, challenges and I've found ... me. I've learnt alot about myself this past year. Turning 18 was pure bliss to me. I remember that's when I stumbled upon underground hip hop (#1) and Neo-Soul.
Can't tell you how much music helped me come over my past relationship. I felt bad, insecure (still that, but not that bad), I felt like I would never EVER fall some dude again. So, I hanged a lot on YouTube, listened to Maxwell, Talib Kweli, Musiq SoulChild, Heather Hudley, you name it! And eventually, the list got longer and longer. The music helped me come over him and the darkness. I've matured....I've learnt to accept the inevitable, I see things further than what my eyes can reach, I've learnt to see people right through their souls, I've learnt to love many, but trust a few. I feel SOOOOOOOOOO good. I can't explain this feeling. At last, I'm whole again. Finally, he ain't a part of me. Finally, I can give my love to someone who is willing to love me back. Finally, I can go on the search for my muse. FINALLY, I can call myself a woman. Finally, I can breathe!
When my met my ex recently, I was afraid I would succumb to him. But I didn't feel anything for him. My heart didn't jump. But you know what? i felt happy!!!!! It didn't seem like he had matured. But again, thanks to him, I'm no longer that girl falling for guys because of their appearance. Thanks to him, I'm more cautious when giving my heart away. Thanks to him, the future is getting brighter and brighter each day! Because of him, I know that what we had wasn't "it". And thank God, he set me free, in order for me to go and look for "it". Actually, he is the reason why I've matured so much. Ok, not only him, including me, my friends and family too. But I believe that past experiences have an influence upon oneself, especially the personality. How I wish I could tell him how much I'm thankful for that he broke up! But that's never gonna happen; he wouldn't understand, anyways.

ahhh, that felt nice. I had to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening (lol, reading too!) : )
Have you ever experienced what I have? Have you ever had that particular ex who you feel is attached to you in a weird way? Like he is an amazing creature, that he ends up being your muse in everything? In what? Well, painting, writing poetry, singing etc. you name it. I'm really glad I got to know him, but it ends there. We are nothing more than friends. He is definitely still my muse, but I'm looking out for a new one. You know, people, how they react, look, smell, smile, laugh, express their feelings; stuff like that blow me away. When I see someone with all those qualities, I usually end up obsessing about them. SORRy if I sound weird! Take it me or leave me! hehe. Crush #2 is my new muse, but I have to talk to him....more. Oh, I mean I have to START talking to him O_o. Kinda hard when he isn't easy to spot. And keeps for himself. Gotta make a move.....really......soon......if.......I,,,,,dare,,,,,,,to........!


Bye and Nitti Natt!

----------------------------------------------------------
Smashed into my head:
Tuesday 7th Sept. 10
Time: 23:44



God Bless.



black panther


PS. F*ck mainstream! You know Video killed the Star & the Radio.